The Happiness of Others Comes Before the Happiness of Oneself (Paper #2)

           People in our society are constantly striving to impress and make others happy instead of focusing on their own personal needs and desires. As a result, true happiness is never in fact achieved on the inside but is just portrayed on the outside. This theme of appeasement is greatly illustrated in the short stories, “The Birthmark” by Nathaniel Hawthorne and, “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. Both Gilman and Georgiana are very obedient to their husbands and always strive to make them happy no matter what it means for themselves. In addition, Mother Teresa is a woman who dedicated her whole life as a Roman Catholic Nun to helping the poorest and sickest people of Calcutta even if it meant sacrificing her happiness and comfortable lifestyle.  

            In “The Birthmark”, Aylmer becomes increasingly fixated with the birthmark on his wife Georgiana’s face. His negative obsession leads him to confront Georgiana about it and even offer her a potion to try and remove it. At first Georgiana felt very upset and betrayed by her husband for not looking past her imperfection. She states, “Then why did you take me from my mother’s side? You cannot love what shocks you” (Hawthorne 212). However, after being put down by Aylmer’s words and distasteful glares, Georgiana decided to swallow her pride and do what would please her husband over making herself happy. She states, “Let the attempt be made, at whatever risk. Danger is nothing to me; for life, while this hateful mark makes me the object of your horror and disgust - life is a burden which I would fling down with joy” (Hawthorne 215). In other words, Georgiana realizes just how upset her birthmark makes Aylmer and decides his happiness is more important than her feelings and own happiness.

            Similar to Georgiana, Perkins Gilman, author and character of “The Yellow Wallpaper” is also a woman who willingly hands over her happiness in order to appease her husband. For instance, Gilman loves writing more than anything but is well aware that her husband John does not like when she writes because of her mental instability. Therefore, Gilman must be secretive and limited when she writes in order to not make her husband upset. For example, while writing Gilman sees her husband coming and states, “There comes John, and I must put this away, he hates to have me write a word” (Gilman 309). Gilman’s anxiousness and compliance to her husband’s no writing rule shows that she is willing to almost give up something that she is so passionate about in order to maintain her husband’s happiness. In addition, Gilman also explains in the beginning of the story how much she hates the room she is living in and even calls it atrocious. However, when she asked John to renovate her room he responds with, “You know the place is doing you good, and really dear I don’t care to renovate the house just for a three months’ rental” (Gilman 310). Following this response Gilman decides her husband is right and says, “But he is right about the beds and windows and things” followed by “I would not be so silly as to make him uncomfortable just for a whim” (Gilman 310). It is clear that Gilman changed her opinion of her room as a result of her husband’s persuasion. Her mind-set is ultimately that her husband is always right and in order for both of them to be happy, she must agree with everything he says and believes is right.  

            In terms of “The Birthmark” and “The Yellow Wallpaper”, appeasement is something that is carried out to satisfy others while neglecting one’s own happiness. However, appeasement can also be carried out in a way that helping others and sacrificing all that you have for the sake of others is a passion and a calling. For example, Mother Teresa was a Roman Catholic nun who devoted her life to helping the poor and those that no one else could help. “In 1952, Mother Teresa opened a home for dying and destitute people in Calcutta named Nirmal Hriday (“Pure Heart”) where she cared for and gave love to the unwanted in hopes that she could provide them with dignity and faith as they died” (Tucker). By leaving her convent to open this home and live and work with the sickest and poorest people of India, Mother Teresa showed that she was a person who would make any personal sacrifice to not only help others but make them happy as well. Mother Teresa once said, "If our actions are just useful actions that give no joy to the people, our poor people would never be able to rise up to the call which we want them to hear, the call to come closer to God. We want to make them feel that they are loved" (Tucker). Mother Teresa did not help others for her own happiness or sense of personal pride. Instead she did it for the sole purpose of making those who have lost everything emotionally and physically discover happiness and meaning in their lives even if that discovery comes moments before death.

 The beautiful work of Mother Teresa is rightfully shown in several documentaries as well as books. “The most well-known documentary titled, “Mother Teresa” (1986) directed by Ann and Jeanette Petrie follows Mother Teresa around on her day to day routines” (Petrie). Being able to capture the life of Mother Teresa directly through her eyes allows viewers to truly understand all that Mother Teresa has sacrificed in order to help others.   

            In conclusion, striving to appease or make others happy is an instinct that comes naturally to many people. Some try to appease others in hopes of receiving their acceptance and love in return. Meanwhile, other people do it for the sole purpose of creating happiness and hope in others’ lives no matter what it means for their own life. Both Georgiana of “The Birthmark” and Gilman of “The Yellow Wallpaper” live to satisfy their husbands even if it means giving up a passion or something very important to them. They believe that their happiness can only be fueled by maintaining the happiness of the people they love. Also, Mother Teresa is a real world example of what selflessly helping and satisfying others truly involves. She willingly entered a world of poverty and suffering in order to bring happiness and comfort to complete strangers. In the end, everyone has the ability to appease others. However, only few are equipped with the unconditional love and selfless spirit to truly change the life of another person for the better.


Works Cited

Gilman, Charlotte P. "The Yellow Wallpaper." The Norton Introduction to Literature. By Kelly J. Mays. 11th ed. New York: W. W, Norton, 2014. 307-20. Print.

Hawthorne, Nathaniel. "The Birthmark." The Norton Introduction to Literature. By Kelly J. Mays. 11th ed. New York: W. W, Norton, 2014. 211-25. Print.

Mother Teresa. Perf. Mother Teresa, Richard Attenborough. Petrie Productions, 1986. Film.

Tucker, Ruth A. "Mother Teresa." Christian History 19.1 (2000): 20. ATLA Religion Database. Web. 1 Dec. 2014.